Timeline of Abe, Mary Todd and Joshua Speed

Winter, 1840 Lincoln was unhappy with his engagement to Mary Todd

Jan. 1, 1841 “Fatal First of January” – Lincoln and Mary Todd break off their engagement – wedding called off.

Lincoln was in a state of depression over his breakup. Mary Todd was very socially and politically “connected”, and this breakup did not put Lincoln in a good position. Recently discovered artifacts show Lincoln to be a financially secure lawyer at this time.

Jan, 1841 Speed sells his business in Springfield and moves back to his family in Louisville. KY.

June 17, 1841 Mary Todd writes to her friend Mercy Levering that Lincoln "deems me unworthy of notice, as I have not met him in the gay world for months. . . . I would that the case was different, that he would once more resume his station in Society."

August, 1841 Lincoln visits Speed at his Farmington home in Louisville.

Following from: Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1858. Albert J. Beveridge Publication Year: 1928.

“Finally about the first week in August, 1841, Lincoln went to Louisville to visit Speed and get what relief the intimate companionship of that trusted friend could afford' Lincoln came to see me and stayed some time at my mother's in the summer and fall of 1841, says Speed, and there he continued throughout the remainder of the summer and early autumn.

Psychobiographer Edward J. Kempf wrote: "Speed knew that Lincoln had been more deeply interested in Mary Todd than any other living woman.. He still believed, even so, that Mary and Lincoln were well suited to each other and wanted to see them married. Taking upon himself the delicate task of acting as love's emissary Speed tactfully began to let each know that the other still regretted, under the crust of egotistical pride, having offended the other's self-respect.”

Summer, 1841 Joshua Speed had been dating Fanny Henning, whom he wanted his best friend Lincoln to meet.

Beveridge, Abraham Lincoln, 320. “Just at that time Speed was paying court to Miss Fanny Henning, a lovely young woman who was soon to become his wife, and this marriage was to have decisive influence on Lincoln. Speed had often written to Lincoln of his infatuation, but had not yet proposed. Fanny was an orphan and lived with her uncle, John Williamson, who had given the young merchant no opportunity to make love to his niece; for the old gentleman, a violent Whig, always insisted on talking politics when her suitor called and would never leave them alone. Speed was anxious that his friend should see the young woman and took Lincoln with him on one of his visits. With a meaning look at Speed, Lincoln, pretending to be a Democrat, engaged Fanny’s uncle so heavily in a political argument that the lovers got their chance to be alone, and thus Speed proposed and was accepted,”

From: Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln to Mary Speed Sept. 1841

Sometimes a merry company took him with them on journeys to other towns and places of interest and on such excursions Lincoln had gay hours. Once he went with Speed to Lexington where Miss Henning had gone on a visit.

To Mary Speed Miss Mary Speed, Bloomington, Illinois, Louisville, Ky. Sept. 27th. 1841

Do you remember my going to the city ]while I was in Kentucky, to have a tooth extracted, and making a failure of it? Well, that same old tooth got to paining me so much, that about a week since I had it torn out, bringing with it a bit of the jawbone.

When we left, Miss Fanny Henning was owing you a visit, as I understood. Has she paid it yet? If she has, are you not convinced that she is one of the sweetest girls in the world? There is but one thing about her, so far as I could perceive, that I would have otherwise than as it is. That is something of a tendency to melancholy. This, let it be observed, is a misfortune not a fault. Give her an assurance of my very highest regard, when you see her.

Winter, 1841 As their wedding approached, Joshua began to doubt his love for Fanny, and Lincoln, who thought the world of Fanny, sent his friend letters of reassuring counsel and comfort.

Speed was still in town and very blue over his approaching wedding. Lincoln's deplorable experience had had its natural effect on Speed; he had 'caught' Lincoln's neurosis and hypochondria.

To Joshua F. Speed

After you and I had once been at her residence, did you not go and take me all the way to Lexington and back, for no other purpose but to get to see her again, on our return, [in that] seeming to take a trip for that express object? …..I shall be so anxious about you, that I want you to write me every mail. Your friend LINCOLN

Feb. 15 1842 Speed and Fanny Henning marry

March 27, 1842 Lincoln writes Speed that Mary Todd went with party to Jacksonville March 21, 1842, and "on her return, spoke, so that I heard of it, of having enjoyed the trip exceedingly. God be praised for that."

May 2, 1842 In a letter to Joshua F. Speed dated July 4, 1842, Lincoln writes that he was on the circuit "five or six weeks" in the spring.

July 4, 1842 Lincoln tells Speed of his lost pride in his character and how he must regain it (as it relates to MT) Lincoln thanks Speed for his advice about his love affair with Mary Todd, which has been troubling him since January 1, 1841. "I believe," he writes, "God made me one of the instruments of bringing your Fanny and you together, which union, I have no doubt He had fore-ordained. Whatever he designs, he will do for me yet. Speed tells Lincoln he was instrumental in bringing together Fanny and him, Lincoln said that was God’s will and fate.

Summer, 1842 Lincoln remained upset at his breakup with MT, and in the summer of 1842 began to secretely meet with her at the house of Simeon Francis. Simeon’s wife was the match-maker of Springfield, and undertook the repair of Lincoln’s and Mary Todd’s engagement. Tranquility and high spirits had again left Lincoln; once more he found himself in the throes of doubt and misgiving. In his letters to Speed were reflected feelings caused by renewed relations with Mary Todd which the wildest imagination could not have forecast.

Sept. 9, 1842 Lincoln sentimentally sends a tabulation of votes in Sangamon County to Mary Todd, laced together with pink ribbon tied in a bow at the top (Beveridge, I, 343-44).

November 4, 1842 Lincoln and Mary Todd marry.